That Nate

When I think of the past two years plus (since I’ve lived in Nashville) I feel like I have been going through a slow hammering processes, it’s like God has slowly been stripping me of earthly things so that I can see, feel, and taste more of Him. This process has deepened my walk with the Lord but often results in many struggles and battles that I have to deal with inside, namely finding my ultimate joy and satisfaction only in Jesus consistently. I think this is what He wants most, He wants more of me, a deeper relationship and dependance on Him that produces the kind of unspeakable joy that the Bible talks about (1 Peter 1:8).

I find that attaining this deeply satisfying inner joy on a consistent basis takes work and it takes fight. I don’t just fall into it sluggishly and it doesn’t always come peacefully because it often comes with intense spiritual attack occurring simultaneously. I have to make time to read God’s word, I have to think about scripture verses so that God’s truth dwells inside me, I have to be in frequent conversation talking to God both on my own and with others. The more I fight for this incredible inner joy, despite my circumstances, and the more I experience happiness in Him alone, the more I realize that where He is, is where I want to be.

Jesus, help me to pursue you with boldness and fight for the joy that only You can give. Protect me from disengaging in the fight of faith. Lord help me to go into battle prepared, with the full armor of God (Eph. 6:10-18). Lord give me the strength to remain faithful and to trust You even when I think Your way makes no sense and doesn’t seem to be the best way to go, help me to press on to become who You want me to become.

“…be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

It has been a while since I have posted here, it is just after 4am and I think this would be a good time to get some things off of my chest. I have so much on my mind and on my heart this night.

The whole reality of the shortness of life has been heavy on my mind, I can think of people I know who seem to be living for things and taking part in things that are selfish and sinful with what seems like little regard or sensitivity for pleasing the Lord, and this saddens me. I also think about others I know who inspire me by their selflessness and how they are boldly living for Jesus by “stepping out of the boat” and seeking Him with all of themselves. Even when doubt or sin creeps in these people are broken and get back up by the strength of God.

I’ve been reading John Pipers book “Don’t Waist Your Life” slowly over the past several weeks. In the book he talks about a couple that took early retirement in Florida, playing softball, cruising on their boat, and collecting seashells. He says “picture them before Christ at the great day of judgment: ‘Look, Lord. See my shells.’ That is a tragedy.” I know life is about much more than the accumulation of things and self gratification and it does seem like our society tells us that is exactly what it is about. I don’t want my life to end like the retired couple Piper mentions. It says in 1 Peter 4:1-2: “Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.” I’m not implying that it is wrong to retire, or even to enjoy collecting shells, but I do know that as Christ followers there is much more to be living for than these things, specifically bringing as much glory to God thru our lives as we possibly can, finding our joy in Him in all that we do and in all that comes our way.

Later in 1 Peter 4 it says: “The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.” (1 Peter 4:7-11)

More than anything I want my life to count for Jesus, I do not want to finish my life having accumulated a bunch of stuff for myself and spending the last 20 years of my life playing canasta. It’s only by His grace.

So my allergies have been terrible this spring, possibly the worst they’ve ever been. Nashville is known for being a place where people suffer more from bad allergies as it is located in a big pollen bowl. Last spring I took some homeopathic stuff I bought at the health food store when I felt them coming on and it really helped as they didn’t really affect me after that. This year the same remedy has not worked, and since I have a job where I am outside a lot my allergies have been terrible.

This morning I was dreading work, I shoot photos of street intersections and signs for insurance claims, and last night my allergies where horrible. I had been constantly blowing my nose and sneezing, my face had been feeling so itchy and my nose was like a faucet. This morning I asked the Lord to provide relief and to help my allergies not affect me while I was outside all day. Today he answered my prayer exactly how I asked, I didn’t sneeze or blow my nose once while out on the streets for over 5 hours today. I had my best day yet shooting photos in terms of numbers. I also asked the Lord to help keep me on level ground, I meant that literally, when riding a bike all day going up steep hills often really wears you out. My whole route today was pretty level and I felt I had more energy than usual. I was reminded today that my God does hear my prayers, from the small requests that may seem insignificant to others, to the big major life decisions and situations…He hears them all all.

So with that being said, my God deserves praise from my lips today (and every day). None of my prayers or cries are insignificant, sometimes I forget things I pray for but I know He remembers.

Also, I’ve been reading Psalm 20 a lot lately, check it:

by The Glorious Unseen

Take me to the place where You are.
Where my burdens fall down at Your feet.
Where Your spirit comes to carry me.
Take me away where I can be near You.
Where the sun is bright and warms my face, where I feel alive in Your embrace.

God you’re all I’ll ever need.
To be with You,
Will You carry me away to Your secret and Your holy place?
Where I’m all wrapped up in You,
Wrapped up in Your arms.
God I’m wrapped up in Your arms

What a great song this is.

“If you’re not on guard against evil you’ll be influenced by evil.” (from Our Daily Bread, April 16th, 2009)

I really enjoy taking showers, my roommates and family know this because I am known for taking long ones (15-20 minute ones). I like showers because they feel good and I like being clean… I also use too much toilet paper after using the restroom but that’s a topic for another day (maybe).

When I feel the time to take a shower has come I often say, “I am going to hop in the shower” or “yeah I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go jump in the shower.” I am going to let you in on a little secret of mine, I have never ever, not even once in my life, hopped or jumped in the shower.
Read the rest of my thoughts on hopping and jumping in the shower right here.

A few months ago it was adoption Sunday at my church, a young girl named Katie spoke, she is only 19 or 20 years old and basically lives in Uganda mothering 10 or 15 children. I was impressed by how she spoke and the maturity of her words. I read her blog from time to time and today she answered several questions that people often ask her, which you can read below. Reading her responses below encourages and reminds me that my life is not my own, it is so easy to start living it according to my own plan for myself at times.

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“What is your faith doctrine?”
I think this is a pretty strange question. I KNOW that it is not a question Jesus would have asked anyone before serving or loving or communicating with them. I am also saddened to think that my LOVE FOR JESUS may not be so apparent in my writing that it answers that question automatically. But here it is for those still asking: Jesus wrecked my life. All my life, I had everything this world says is important. In high school I was class president, homecoming queen, top of my class. I dated cute boys and drove a cute car. I had supportive parents who so desired my success that they would pay for me to go to college anywhere my heart desired. BUT, I loved Jesus. Jesus says to Nicodemus that in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, one must be born again. Check. Jesus says to another guy that in order to enter the kingdom of Heaven one must sell everything they have a give it to the poor and then COME, follow Him. Oh… I realized that I had loved and admired and worshipped Jesus without doing what He did. So I quit my life. Originally it was to be temporary, just a year before I went back to normal Brentwood life and college. It wasn’t possible. I had seen what life was about and I couldn’t pretend I didn’t know. So I quit my life again, but for good this time. I quit college, I quit my cute designer and my little yellow convertible, I quit my boyfriend. I no longer have everything that the world says is important. BUT, I have everything that I know is important. I have never been happier, and I have never been closer to the Lover of my Soul and my Savior. JESUS wrecked my life, shattered it to put it back together more beautifully. I am in LOVE with Him. Period.

There is an old Franciscan saying, “Preach the Gospel. And when necessary, use words.” So I am going to quit this silly preaching with words and go make dinner for my precious ones. Your questions are welcome.

You can read the full post right here.

Just as I finished my last post titled “Blah“, I noticed my bro just posted a blog titled “Life seems ‘eh’, at times. But thanks be…“.

I think it was written for me. And maybe you too if you feel like “blah” or “eh”.

The weather has been pretty gloomy, gray, and overcast for like the past 3 days here in Nashville. Sometimes when this happens it makes me feel sort of ‘blah’ inside. That’s the best word I can think of to describe it. When these days occur one after another it makes me feel sort of boring and unenthusiastic inside about myself and life, it’s so weird. I know when the sun comes out again I will feel re-energized and ready to dominate life again but the past few days have made me feel more blah.

A few things that help in these times are prayer and also doing things that cause me to worship Jesus. Just talking and being honest with Him about my life and the blah feelings make me feel better inside, focusing on all that He has done and His love for me also helps the blah feelings. I am glad that each day is new and different. I’m looking forward to tomorrow.

It has been a long time since I have done this, but at times in the past I have made a list of things in my life that I am thankful for and the act of actually writing them reinforces how truly blessed I really am. Give it a try sometime.

Below are some things I am thankful to God for:

-that I live in the USA where we can still pursue our dreams freely and worship God freely
-I eat quality food every day
-my dad and mom (so thankful for the parents I was given, words can’t express)
-my sister & her family (so glad we are so close and there for each other)
-my bro (blessed to have an awesome bro who knows me so well)
-my roommates (sometimes we annoy each other but I am truly thankful for them both)
-I have access to God’s Word and can read it anytime I want.
-friends that encourage and inspire me by their walk (even though they may not be aware of it)
-friends that have shown love by giving to me & my brother (food, money, jobs, a listening ear, advice)
-friends & family who pray
-I have reliable transportation
-for going thru hard times that have shown me more so what is truly important in life and also things that are not so important.
-a church that I enjoy going to
-freedom
-a job that pays the bills but still provides enough time for me to pursue other things
-the computers I own that help me do lots of things.
-to have lots of important things within a close proximity to where I live (close friends, church, stores, restaurants, parks, las paletas, the post office, the library, etc.)
-grandparents that love the Lord
-I have a comfy bed.
-I have my own bathroom in my room.
-the newer worship artists that I’ve discovered that uplift and encourage my spirit.
-I have a tv and can watch Sportscenter anytime I want.
-There is a bar that plays every NFL game (including Bengals games) about 3 miles from my house.
-I live somewhere where blizzards are rare.
-There is a Whole Foods & Trader Joes in Nashville.
-I can go to a show almost any night because I live in Music City.
-I have an awesome landlord from Denmark who brews great beer and loves helping people.
-Although I am single, I am not in a bad relationship with a girl.
-clean water.
-clothes.
-I’ve been to 4 Predators hockey games for FREE in the past few months.

I could keep going, but I’ll stop.

I have so much to thank God for each day.

“why do they call it common sense when it’s so uncommon.” -Fred Thompson

My Bengals lost one of their best, and also one of my favorite, players today due to free agency. Wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh signed a 5 year 40 million dollar contract with the Seattle Seahawks. Housh was a tough competitor and I’ll miss watching him in the stripes.

One of my favorite moments was when TJ used a “terrible towel” to shine his shoes, that was great.

T.J. is one of the few men who can have a pony tail and you still respect the guy.

TJ and Chad “Ocho Cino” Johnson have been teammates for 9 years dating back to their final year in college at Oregon State. He and Chad also became the first Bengals teammates ever to each record over 1,000 receiving yards in the same season.

Houshmandzadeh was drafted by the Bengals in the 7th round (204th overall) in the 2001 NFL draft. He leaves 3rd on the Bengals all-time receiving list with 507 receptions.    

Houshmandzadeh’s name popped up in an NFL fantasy football television commercial a few years back, it was classic:

I came across this video today, I thought it was powerful.